The below are reading notes of some good old truths, new aha-s and pro tips from a pretty good concise communications guidebook called As We Speak: How to Make Your Point and Make it Stick by Peter Meyers and Shann Nix. Mostly focussed on public speaking, especially to larger audiences – but touches upon other topics as well, such as small meeting settings, managing crisis communications, using comms & presentation technology and structuring 1:1 tough conversations.
The book was assigned as reading for a brief reflection essay in the Generative Leadership class at Stanford, but I would (and have already) recommended it as a no-brainer purchase for any manager to hand out to people on their team who need a little comms help. They’ll get through it in a few hours and be grateful for the few very tangible things they can implement the same day.
Content
- Fill the _first 7 seconds _on stage with a meaningful, grabbing message
- Tempting to start with greetings, introduction, house rules – nothing happens if these follow from 8th second, not from the very beginning
- Never _end_with the conclusion of Q&A (the answer you gave to question randomly asked as last)
- prepare a “dessert” closure to use after that, to control the message/tone people are left with
- No prepared outline survives the CEO (oh, hi, Niklas, Michael, Josh & Tony! :))
- design your structure with Q&A-like main content part
- Stories need coordinates: when, where, who
- Start with the platform of Ordinary -> tilt the platform to unnatural state -> regain balance (through struggle)
- (very similar to what James Buckhouse of Twitter & Dreamworks was talking to us about)
- Brain processes images 60X faster than words
- Match the _modality_in dialogue, Q&A
- When question contains language for “sounds like”, have the answer include “I _hear _you…”, not based other senses such as “it feels like..”, “it looks like…”
Delivery
- Audience gathers additional messaging from your voice / effects
- ex: high pitch: empathy, low: authority
- No such thing as _too fast _speaking
- The issue usually is of rhythm (no change in pace, monotony, no/misplaced pauses)
- Vary staccato (“yes we can”) with legato (“I have a dream…”)
- Enter from stage right…
- in Western cultures! (following the reading direction of audience)
- when you don’t need to shake any hands (entering from left doesn’t make you turn your back to audience)
- Divide the audience to Left/Right/Front/Back quadrants
- consciously alternate which quad you are speaking to
- aids especially to detect if you tend to miss out Back completely
- Sync physical stage movements with linking phrases(“that leads me to…”, “speaking of which…”)
- Stay still on landing phrases
- The point of the final dress rehearsal is to not stop when (not if!) anything goes wrong – practice for overcoming hiccups
State
- Pre-performance routines (aka preparation patterns) help to control state
- Active ones (jumping, laughing) release serotonin in the brain (for confidence, joy)
- Distract your brain from negative focus (“I will forget”, “they fill find out I don’t know enough”) by asking yourself positive questions
- NB! not just abstract “positive thinking”, trying to hypnotise or some new age stuff – just enforce mental search for positive
- not closed “will it be interesting?”, but open ended “what is the most compelling part?”
- Belief = what a particular person considers always to be true
- stands on illustrative facts
- ergo, to change a belief: clearly state a new one and explore facts to support it
High-Stake Situations
- In hostage negotiations: distinction between liking/respecting the taker VS creating a bond
- In dialogue/argument, never talk more than 3-4 sentences at a time
- Whoever asks the questions, drives the outcome
- Passive responder (stream of arguments) eventually loses
- Reward small concessions in argument
- NB! careful with nodding – signals agreement, not just thanks
- verbal is safer (agree, makes sense, thanks for that)
- Paraphrase, not parrot phrase (word for word) to signal receiving the point
- Crisis communications: meet needs for security, connection & contribution – in this order
- Here’s what we know for sure – certainty (anything!) calms hysteria
- Here’s what we don’t know
- Here’s what I think – personal gut, analysis, beliefs
- Here’s what you can do
- Here’s what you can count on from me – commitment
- Here’s why it is worthwhile to make the effort – greater purpose, not false optimism
- Whichever medium/modality (phone, video call, email, live speech) you have for communication, try to “warm it up”
- face-to-face conversation still as ultimate benchmark
- “I:You ratio” (mention “I” once per every 10 “you”-s)
- In audio conference, pause at least every 7 minutes for interaction
- 18 minutes is the sharp attention drop-off with no return
- “tag” questions with
+ bridge + to enable response , “what do you say, ” + much harder to react to
- Try to get into “live audience” state on the phone
- When entering a new situation/project/organisation, map your personal communications dashboard
- One person per line
- Fill out for each: Needs, Intended Outcome, Communications Strategy (frequency, mode)